3 Signs It’s Time to Learn How to Set Boundaries

How to recognize the signs you’re overdue for healthier boundaries—and take the first step toward setting them.

Struggling with boundaries?
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Do you ever find yourself saying yes when you really want to say no? Or replaying conversations in your head, worrying you might have upset someone by being honest? If so, you’re not alone. Many of us were never taught how to set boundaries growing up—especially if we grew up in families where people-pleasing was rewarded and having limits was seen as selfish.

But here’s the thing: without boundaries, it’s nearly impossible to feel safe, connected, or at peace in your relationships—or with yourself.

Celebrated a friend’s birthday at Disneyland this week, and it was such a special day. What made it even better? Boundaries.

Here are three signs it’s time to learn how to set boundaries and why doing so can change your life:

1. You feel resentment more often than you’d like.

Resentment is one of the clearest signals that your boundaries need attention. Maybe you feel like you’re the one who always bends, accommodates, or picks up the slack. Or maybe you’ve been saying “yes” to keep others happy while your own needs go unmet.

The truth is, resentment often shows up when we ignore our limits, either because we don’t know how to express them or because we’re too afraid of the fallout. Learning to set boundaries can help you say yes only when you mean it—and no without guilt.

2. You struggle to trust your own needs.

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “Maybe I’m just too sensitive,” or downplaying your feelings to avoid rocking the boat, this one might hit home. People who grew up without healthy boundaries often learn to question their own needs, assuming that prioritizing themselves is wrong.

But your needs aren’t selfish—they’re human. Boundaries allow you to honor those needs without apology, helping you show up more authentically in every part of your life.