Boundaries Made Simple: 3 Tips for a Happier, Healthier You.

Everything you need to know to set boundaries and uphold them successfully.

I know boundaries can be scary. Sometimes, they are even so scary that we don’t dare to set them. Or we set them but don’t reinforce them, or worse, take them back immediately. Some people might never understand why you struggle to set boundaries and say no. They say you worry too much and should just learn to say no. I know it’s not as easy as that. Many of us wouldn’t spend hours worrying about setting boundaries if it were that easy.

When we’re scared, setting boundaries often seems like an impossible task. Fear makes things seem bigger and more complicated than they are. That’s why I wrote this article. I found that whether you’re new to boundaries or have been at it for a while but still feel uncomfortable, there are only three parts to boundary-setting that you need to know to succeed. While I want to acknowledge that setting boundaries is highly nuanced, I want you to know that 90% of boundary-setting is an inside job.

In this article, I want to focus on three key aspects of setting boundaries— since it’s really all you need to confidently and successfully set boundaries. Today you’ll learn:

• How to build confidence to set boundaries successfully

• Explore three language frameworks you can use to communicate your boundaries effectively (and kindly)

• Strategies to help you uphold your boundaries when facing backlash

This article is for paid subscribers, yet I want to leave everyone with some thought-provoking questions so you can have your own moment of reflection. If you want to know my take on this topic (and many more) and read specific examples of my experiences and how I moved on, consider becoming a paid subscriber.

• What particularly makes setting boundaries scary to you? Understanding what you’re afraid of will help you find solutions to soothe yourself.

• Where do you need to build up your skills? Do you struggle to find the right words when setting boundaries, or are you unsure where you can set boundaries, or do your emotions get in the way? You need to understand what you struggle with so you can seek information and learn what it is you need to overcome.

What makes this article so helpful is that I was a people-pleaser and codependent for most of my life. I am not a therapist or mental health professional; I’m just an ordinary girl who knew she needed to take charge of herself and find a way to overcome her fear of setting boundaries and upsetting others without becoming a selfish, unempathetic person no one wants to be around. In this article, I’ll make setting boundaries less confusing, address your valid fears around asserting yourself, and outline the steps you need to take so you can start setting boundaries today.