How People-Pleasing Turns Celebrations into Stress
The Pressure to Please Can Turn Special Occasions into a Source of Anxiety & How To Shift Your Mindset
As my birthday approached last year, I remember feeling that familiar pit in my stomach. What should’ve been a time to celebrate, to come together, quickly became a source of anxiety. Instead of feeling excitement, all I could think about was: Will everyone have a good time? Will everyone like the food? Will anyone feel left out? This is a common experience for many of us who’ve spent years people-pleasing—celebrations turn into a performance to ensure everyone else is happy.
When I’m hosting or even just planning an outing, I notice that my focus shifts. I’m no longer thinking about enjoying the moment but about managing everyone else’s experience. I mentally run through every possible scenario: How can I avoid discomfort? How can I make sure no one feels disappointed? It’s exhausting. The emotional energy that goes into trying to anticipate everyone’s needs leaves me drained, long before the event even starts.
