How regret tricks your brain

Changing how we see our past choices to live happier lives

In today’s newsletter article, I wanted to discuss regret and how to adopt a new mindset to feel less burdened by the things we haven’t done and our choices.

This is where I wrote todays article, I don’t know if you knew this but I write all newsletter articles by dictating them on my phone. There is something about a blank page that scares me, but in a quiet place talking to myself always (in my opinion) makes for a good and insightful article.

Every day, we are presented with different opportunities and choices to make. What will you eat for dinner? How will you spend your free time? Which book will you read? What jacket are you going to wear? 

These are just a few of the choices we must make daily. Most of the time, no matter how we choose, it won’t have a big effect on our overall lives, but then there are the bigger questions, questions with bigger impacts, and maybe even once-in-a-lifetime opportunities.

Should I go to college? What major should I pick? What city do I want to live in? Should we break up or work this through? Should I take this job or not? Do I want kids? 

How we decide in these instances has a much bigger impact. These questions were always extremely hard for me to answer, and I think it’s because I have been a people-pleaser for so long that I didn’t know myself enough to make these decisions. Whenever I had to make a decision I used to either get stuck in endless deliberation or simply go with what others advised me to do. Can you relate? It’s something so many people-pleasers struggle with, and I’ve only recently become comfortable and better at making my own decisions, so I know how hard it can be.

Since I was a people-pleaser for most of my life, I based most of my decisions on other people's advice or on what I thought others would want me to do, so naturally, I have a lot of regrets.