My #1 tip to deal with persistently difficult people

Learn how to disarm any negative comment with one simple trick

Do you have someone in your life that’s persistently difficult? Someone who makes everything a battle and always has something negative to say? But you want to or have to maintain contact and hope to find a non-confrontational approach to disarming them? Then this article is for you!

A picture I took from my walk with Teddy

There can be many reasons why we don’t want to cut off contact with someone who is persistently difficult; sometimes, it’s not even an option. Maybe it’s a coworker, a roommate, or a family member that you’ll have to learn to deal with. Or perhaps it’s someone you care for, and you're not ready to limit contact just yet, and you’re looking for ways to navigate interactions with them better.

Maybe it’s someone who hands out passive-aggressive comments right and left. Or perhaps someone always comments negatively about you, your boundaries, your decisions, your choices, how you talk or eat, etc. Today, I share my top strategy for dealing with persistently difficult people with you.

Here are some examples of negative comments you might encounter in relationships with persistently difficult people:

• The Passive-Aggressive Commentator: Oh, you're finally standing up for yourself. Took you long enough."

• The Constant Critic: "You're going to wear that? It's not very flattering."

• The Boundary Pusher: "Why do you always have to make a big deal about your personal space? We're family."

• The Decision Dismisser: "That's a silly idea. It won't work."

• The Negative Nellie: "Nothing ever goes right for you, does it?"

• The Overbearing Opinion Giver: "If I were you, I wouldn't do it that way. You're just asking for trouble."

What makes a person “difficult”?

There are difficult people everywhere, in our personal relations, work, professional settings, and even total strangers we don’t even know. Having to deal with a difficult person usually poses challenges to our patience, our way of communication, and emotional regulation. Difficult people can be extremely irritating and overwhelmingly problematic, thereby negatively impacting our well-being and productivity.

What all difficult people have in common is that they, in various ways, make our interactions unpleasant. Often, difficult people constantly criticize us, make passive-aggressive or overly negative comments, give unsolicited advice, or push back on our boundaries. A person might act this way for many reasons, for example, personal insecurity or a lack of self-awareness about how their words and actions impact others. While we can empathize with their struggles and understand why they behave the way they do, this doesn’t mean we should continuously let them negatively impact our well-being. But as you might have noticed, talking to these people and getting them to change their ways is almost impossible; that’s why I created this article to help you navigate interaction with difficult people in a way that reduces their negative impact on your well-being without being confrontational.