Navigating the Fine Line: Balancing the Need for External Validation and Learning to Validate Yourself

Why We Care and Worry about What Others Think of Us and How to Let Go of Overreliance on External Validation

Why do we care and worry about what others think (of us)?

Humans are wired to care about what others think of us; it's natural. So if you find yourself caring or wondering what others think of you, know this is normal. As social creatures, we rely on forming social groups for survival; being exiled or banned from your social group back in the day could have deadly consequences. Being and staying a part of a group is a basic human need; that's why receiving acceptance, approval, validation, and reassurance from others is important to us.

It's important to understand that we all need external validation and acceptance from others. I often see advice on how to stop caring what others think and to stop wanting acceptance and validation from others, but that isn't realistic. It's natural for us to seek and need it from others. 

But, what's equally important is to understand that we can't use validation and acceptance from others as our only source; we have to learn to also give it to ourselves; that's the key.

Do you want to understand how overly reliant on acceptance and validation from others is hurting you, what behaviors it's manifesting, and how to let go of it while also learning how to accept and validate yourself? In that case, this article is for you.

When does worrying about what others think become unhealthy?

Before we jump into how to let go of needing so much external validation and acceptance, I want to draw a clear picture of when we rely on it too much and what behaviors are indicators to you that you need to dial it down and focus on giving you acceptance and validation yourself.

It can be difficult to determine when you are too reliant on external validation. Still, below, I have outlined some behaviors that can indicate to you that you may be too reliant on external validation:

Signs you're caring too much about what others think of you and that it's time to dial it down: