Nurturing a strong sense of self: why it's essential

get yourself back and create your future

Life is messy. Something that can help us navigate is having a solid sense of self. Knowing who we are and what’s important to us guides us through life. But you might have lost your inner compass, especially if you're a recovering people-pleaser.

Do you ever find yourself nodding along even when you strongly disagree? Or bending over backward even for people you don’t even like? Welcome to the club. Many of us who have struggled with people-pleasing feel like we’ve lost ourselves.

In this article, we’ll explore how finding and holding onto your sense of self can boost your confidence, strengthen your decision-making skills, and regain a sense of self so you can connect more authentically with others (and yourself).

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What is a “sense of self”?

Merriam-Webster defines a "sense of self" as "ideas about the type of person one really is." In simpler terms, think of it as having a mental blueprint of who you are.

Deep down at your core, your sense of self is who you are. This internal sense of who you are comprises your values, beliefs, and desires and makes you uniquely you. This inner compass guides your choices, how you see the world, and how you show up and create your own life. Your sense of self helps you navigate life's endless opportunities and inherent messiness while uncovering your purpose. Now, let’s discuss how recovering people-pleasers often struggle with their inner compass and explore how you can reaccess your sense of self.

The people-pleasers struggle with identity:

People-pleasers often find themselves bending, twisting, and reshaping themselves to fit the expectations of others. People-pleasers are experts at adapting to different situations and people, but they usually don’t realize the price they have to pay. Without noticing it, people-pleasers often lose sight of who they truly are.

Imagine this: Your friend asks you for a favor, and without thinking about it, you hear yourself saying yes to something you know you don’t want to do. Over time, the more you ignore your needs and desires like that, the weaker your sense of self will get.

It’s not that people-pleasers don’t have a sense of self. It’s more like they’ve suppressed it, buried it under layers of external pressures and societal norms, and lost sight of it while relentlessly trying to get approval from others. Not being able to access your sense of self feels like lacking a sense of conviction. This identity struggle can be disorienting, leaving people disconnected from their true selves.

You're in the right spot if you can relate and want to reconnect with your sense of self. This article will explore how to rediscover and nurture your sense of self. So, let’s jump in without further ado.