The Art of Letting Go
Why Taking on Other People's Responsibilities is Not Your Job
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The Art of Letting Go: Why Taking on Other People's Responsibilities is Not Your Job
I'm not here to tell you to stop helping those around you. As humans, we are social creatures, and it's hardwired in our DNA to help, care for one another, and be there for each other. However, our desire to help others can lead to meddling with other people's responsibilities. Sometimes we need to step up and help, and there are other times when it's important to recognize what is and isn't your responsibility.
This article will explore why we take on other people's responsibilities, scenarios you may find yourself in when you take on other people's responsibilities, and what we should prioritize as our responsibilities.
Why do we take on Other People's Responsibilities?
There are many reasons why we might take on other people's responsibilities; in this section, we will explore what there might be, as you can't change what you're unaware of.
Examples of reasons why we take on other people's responsibilities:
You feel obligated to help
You don't trust the other person to handle it
You want to avoid conflict
You feel a sense of pride or validation when helping others
You want to control the situation or outcome
You lack boundaries and accept to take on what's not your responsibility
However, taking on other people's responsibilities often has negative consequences, including feeling overwhelmed, neglecting our responsibilities, and developing resentment towards others.
Scenarios You May Find Yourself in When You Take on Other People's Responsibilities
While we can take on too many responsibilities in any aspect or relationship of our lives, there are a few common areas and relationships that we tend to over function for others:
At work: You may take on a colleague's task when they are overwhelmed or experience difficulties. This can lead you to become overloaded with work, neglecting your own tasks, which often negatively affects the quality of your work.
Within your family: You may take on extra responsibilities, like caring for a sick family member or managing household tasks. This can lead you to neglect your own needs and personal time. This happens and can be healthy if it doesn't become the norm or happen too frequently.
With friends: You may take on your friend's emotional baggage or try to solve their problems for them. This can cause you to become emotionally drained, neglecting your own needs, and lead to compassion fatigue, often leading to feelings of anger, bitterness, and resentment.
Romantic Relationships: You may take on your partner's responsibilities, like managing their finances or daily errands. This can cause you to become overwhelmed and neglect your own needs in the relationships. It can also give rise to resentment and feelings of inequality.
Parenting: You may take on your children's tasks and responsibilities by finishing their school work or cleaning their room. This can cause you to become exhausted and overwhelmed. At the same time, your children cannot rise to the challenge or experience the consequences of not fulfilling their responsibilities at home or school.
Volunteering: You may take on extra responsibilities when someone is looking for a volunteer. You may tend to volunteer out of obligation, causing you to agree to help even though your calendar is already overflowing.
Social Settings: You may take on the responsibility of ensuring everyone in a social group is happy and having a good time. This can cause you to neglect your own needs and lead to increased stress and anxiety; it also robs you of the opportunity to have fun yourself.
What responsibilities that aren't yours do you tend to take on as your own? Let me know in the comments below.
What are your responsibilities?
As individuals, we have our own responsibilities that are solely our own. Someone who tends to take on other people's responsibilities might neglect their own out of lack of time or energy after caring for everyone else. It's important to recognize when we are neglecting our own responsibilities and shift our priorities to take care of ourselves and our responsibilities. This is not to say not to help or contribute, but it becomes problematic when you chronically fall short of fulfilling your own responsibilities.
Here are some examples of responsibilities that are solely your own:
Taking care of your physical health: You are solely responsible for maintaining your physical health. For example, exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and seeking help when needed.
Managing your emotional and mental health: You are responsible for managing your own emotional and mental health. This includes identifying when you need help and finding healthy ways to cope. And not jumping to conclusions or making assumptions without enough proof.
Fulfilling your professional responsibilities: You are responsible for fulfilling your professional obligations, like attending meetings, making deadlines, and providing quality work. You're also responsible for continuing and improving your professional skills and knowledge.
Managing your finances: You are responsible for managing your own finances, paying your bills, and planning your financial security in the future.
Making decisions for yourself: You are responsible for making your own decisions and taking responsibility for the consequences of those decisions.
Personal Growth: You are responsible for pursuing your own education and personal growth to identify where more healing and growth needs.
There are just a few examples of your major responsibilities; it's important to recognize and prioritize them while also setting healthy boundaries and avoiding taking on responsibilities of others that aren't ours when you can't do so.
Self-exploration questions to reflect on your need to take on other people's responsibilities
If you find yourself taking on other people's responsibilities, exploring why you're doing so may be helpful. Here are some self-exploration questions to guide you:
What motivates me to take on other people's responsibilities?
Am I neglecting my own responsibilities by taking on others'?
In what ways can I prioritize my responsibilities without neglecting those around me?
What would happen if I said no to someone who asked me to take on their responsibility?
How can I set healthy boundaries to prevent myself from taking on others' responsibilities in the future?
Did you find this article helpful? Share with me in the comments below what you liked about this article, and feel free to ask any questions.