The power of meeting people where they’re at

How to maintain relationships with difficult people

No matter how much you want to change people, we can’t do it for them. This reminder is quite common and it’s probably nothing new to you. While I 100% agree with the statement that you can change others unless they want to change themselves, I feel like a big part of the picture is missing!

What if we have someone in our lives who isn’t interested in changing, but it’s someone whom we want to keep in our lives?  What if it’s a parent who is very emotionally difficult, yet we feel confident that we want to keep them in our lives? What about a parent-in-law who is passive-aggressive but who we have to deal with when the whole family comes together? Or what about a long-term friend with whom our relationship isn’t 100% fulfilling because of how they act, but we share a lot of good memories and are not ready to let them go? 

In today’s article, I want to discuss how to manage the frustration, annoyance, anger, and disappointment you often feel when interacting with someone who doesn’t want to change their ways or who doesn’t understand that it may be necessary. 

A picture from one of my morning walks for Teddy to remind me to enjoy the small luxuries everyday life has to offer

This article is dear to my heart as it relates to many of my relationships. Growing up in a chaotic and emotionally reactive household caused me to enter and build relationships with people who were emotionally immature. Now, some of them are so emotionally immature that I’ve cut ties with them, but there are others not so far on the emotional immaturity scale that is still sometimes difficult to deal with, or some aspects of them are always difficult to deal with, but I’m not ready to cut ties with them yet or I can’t because of some other circumstance. 

I believe that a lot of people who grew up in unhealthy dynamics face this problem, where all of a sudden, they heal and change and find it difficult to deal with people in their lives who are not changing. And then there are people like my partner, for example, who grew up in healthier circumstances but who has to learn to deal with my family occasionally. Unfortunately, my family hasn’t changed and will never change. So, if you can relate, please continue reading this article because it can help you keep your peace, maintain difficult relationships, and find moments to enjoy them truly.