Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Neglect: A Guide to Finding Emotional Fulfillment

Emotional Neglect Recovery: Understanding the Signs, Consequences, and Healing Techniques

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Do you often feel confused about how you feel or feel disconnected and unfulfilled? Are you highly critical of yourself and secretly worried that there is something wrong with you? Do you, more often than not, feel uncomfortable in social situations and disconnected from the people around you?

If this sounds like you, I can't wait for you to explore today’s article, as it will help you understand where your feelings of disconnect and unfulfillment are coming from and break out of the cycle of feeling disconnected from others and yourself.

Understanding Emotional Neglect: Recognizing the Signs and Learning How to Heal

We may grow up as adults who have lost our sense of self and feel disconnected from our feelings and others because we grew up emotionally neglected.

Emotional neglect sounds like a horrible, terrible thing, which is why many people dismiss it immediately after hearing the term as something they did not experience, without even knowing what it means to be emotionally neglected.

I know I did when I first learned about emotional neglect; I would describe my childhood as normal; maybe my parents argued a bit more than average, but from simply hearing the term “emotional neglect,” I was sure it didn't apply to me. In my mind, my parents could never have done something as horrible as “emotionally neglecting” me.

If you feel this way, stick along to fully understand what it means to be emotionally neglected, what the signs are that you experienced it, and evaluate if it's something you experienced and learn how to heal from it.

We feel this way because emotional neglect sounds like something obvious and must be intentional. This is not to say that emotional neglect isn't severe and intentional in extreme cases. Still, most cases of emotional neglect are unintentional and often regarded as everyday parenting.

Let me draw you a picture of what emotional neglect is and see for yourself if this may be something you have been at the receiving end of.

Understanding Emotional Neglect: The Impact of Emotional Neglect on Emotional Development and Loss of Self

Being emotionally neglected means that our primary caretakers are consistently not providing us with emotional support, understanding, and love. And we frequently end up feeling unseen, unheard, unloved, and emotionally unsafe.

Emotional neglect can take many forms but often involves dismissing or ignoring a child's feelings, failing to respond to a child's emotional needs, shaming, ridiculing, punishing, or minimizing a child's emotional expressions consistently. (Not all have to apply for you to have experienced emotional neglect.)

On one hand, being consistently emotionally neglected causes us to start believing that there is something wrong with our emotions, that they aren't normal or appropriate, and this plant’s deep-rooted distrust of our own feelings.

On the other hand, constantly not being given emotional support causes children not to learn how to regulate and experience their emotions in a healthy way.

Being emotionally neglected often leads to emotional overwhelm when we experience big emotions. It ultimately ends in frequently suppressing our emotions as we distrust them and are not equipped to manage them ourselves.

On top of that, we are too scared to ask for help as in the past; we were punished, belittled, or dismissed for our emotional expressions and asking for emotional support.

The bottom line is this: When we experience emotional neglect, we tend to grow into adults who frequently suppress their feelings, who distrust their feelings, and who, therefore, often look to others when it comes to how they should feel.

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Exploring The Longlasting Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect In Childhood: 9 Insights from Today's Video

1. You have a hard time believing that someone could like you, let alone love you for who you are.

2. You prioritize taking care of others rather than taking care of yourself.

3. You suffer from low self-esteem and not feeling good enough.

4. You often feel lonely even though friends and family surround you.

5. You often end up in relationships where it's unsafe to express your feelings or opinions or ask for what you need.

6. When difficult emotions arise, you tend to escape them through addictions or constantly distracting yourself.

7. You have a hard time identifying and recognizing how you feel.

8. You have difficulty trusting others and forming close relationships.

9. You struggle with setting healthy boundaries and assertiveness in your relationships and interactions with others.

Here are some ways to begin the process of healing from childhood emotional neglect and to address the behaviors and thoughts that may be associated with it (as outlined in today's video):

1. Seek professional help: If you want to deep-dive into your childhood emotional neglect and how it affected you, then it's helpful to seek professional help (therapists, counselors, coaches, etc.) to help you work through your feelings.

2. Practice awareness & validation of your feelings: As a child, you didn't learn how to process and feel your emotions in a healthy way. As an adult, raising your emotional IQ (emotional awareness, validation, and regulation) is essential. This will help you create a safe place for your emotions, as you didn't have one growing up. Read how to reconnect to your feelings here.

3. Repeat positive affirmations to counter your negative thoughts about your feelings: Positive affirmations are helpful as they help us shift our focus and change our mindset and belief system over time. Now, you can't simply pick an affirmation and repeat it; you have to believe it and elicit a strong positive emotion in you (I often aim for empowerment). Here are some examples of positive affirmations you can use if you often suppress and feel disconnected from your feelings:

   • “I am worthy of love, acceptance, and attention.”

   • “Someone else inability to validate and hold space for your feelings doesn't mean there is something wrong with your feelings and emotions.”

   • “I am deserving of healthy emotional relationships and receive emotional support.”

   • “I am allowed to feel and express all of my emotions."

   • "I am allowed to have my feelings without fearing the judgment of others or myself."

   • “I chose to surround myself with people who validate and support my emotional experiences."

   • “I am allowed and capable of caring for my emotional well-being.”

   • “I am strong enough to feel and manage difficult emotions.”

   • “I trust my ability to support myself emotionally.”

4. Be compassionate with yourself and develop a positive self-image: Being compassionate towards yourself means being kind, understanding, and supportive of yourself. It means to treat yourself with the same care you'd treat a friend. It's especially important if you have experienced emotional neglect, as it can help you work against your internalized negative messages about your emotions and worth. Recognize that healing takes time and effort; there will be times when you'll need to take a step back; when that happens, remind yourself that you're doing the best you can.

5. Cultivate self-trust: Emotional neglect can make it difficult to trust yourself and others. To build self-trust and trust in others, start setting boundaries with yourself and others. This will help you feel safe around others while setting boundaries with yourself will help you trust yourself and your ability to create safety for yourself.

When you work through these 5 steps, remember that healing is a journey; it takes time to recover from childhood emotional neglect. The journey of recovery and healing also doesn't look the same to everyone. If something in this article resonated with you, sit with it and heal by applying the steps that feel and sound right to you.

Remember you are not alone in this journey, be kind and patient with yourself. The fact that you took the time to access this information and read this article means that you're looking to heal yourself and create a happier and healthier version of yourself.

If you found this article helpful, give it a like, this helps me understand what content resonates and where to create more information.

***Disclaimer: I am not a therapist. This information is for educational purposes only.

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